As we are all so busy with our everyday bullshit, you might have missed the fact that Dave Lampert died. Who is Dave Lampert, you ask? Well, he’s the creator of the Sybian sex machine. If you have never listened or watched Howard Stern or have yet to scour the net for women experiencing mind-blowing orgasms sitting on Mr. Lampert’s invention, the Sybian is a hands-free masturbatory device, where a lady sits astride a dildo on what looks like a tight little speed-bump of a cushion and simply lets loose. The thing is known for stimulating a woman’s clitoris and vagina in such a unique way that said lady could ride the thing repeatedly for multiple orgasms. Thank you, Mr. Lampert, I say. Lampert took the health-sex market by storm introducing the world to his Sybian in 1987. Then, a little over a decade later, he introduced his Venus for Men hands-free masturbator, a machine a man can attach to his penis, whether erect or not, to coax forth an orgasm. God knows there are a lot of sex aids out there. Tons of people will offer advice, whether you ask for it or not, on how to have betters sex, alone or with a partner. And as we all have realized, each new person we attempt to canoodle with will have their way of getting off or approach you with their style of getting you off. Being a hetero guy, I especially liked how Lampert said we had all been fed the “the greatest hoax played upon the world,” that male stroking (the old “in, out, in-out” as Alex calls fucking in “A Clockwork Orange,”) is as pleasurable to a lady as it is to a man, wherein so many cases a woman cannot orgasm from fucking. Ladies usually need to have to rub themselves this way or create the stimulus to their clitoris beyond just being stuffed, humped, and piston-ed. Dave Lampert knew this, invented a way to bring women pleasure beyond the hoax, and pretty much created the machine to give women pleasure over and over. Lamper was 90.
If you want to send your condolences to the family and company, you can write them here: condolences@abco@sybian.com.
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