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Writer's pictureRalph Greco, Jr.

So, So Close To The Cock…

The old ‘wardrobe malfunction’ has plagued so many celebrities. Whether it’s a quick vagina slip or yet another Britney Spears’ Vegas stage costume ripping, in all the latex, lace, leather and pretty much barely-there-to-begin-with costuming and wardrobe celebrities wear, be it intended or not (and if intended, it wouldn’t technically be a malfunction now, would it?) we see lots of skin sneaking through the clothes our best and brightest wear.

With malfunctions usually happening with female celebrities, we don’t get many opportunities to see a cock and balls unfurled or bouncing free. Still, we all almost got the chance this past Saturday, during Saturday Night Live’s 46th season finale. Rapper Lil Nas X was on stage for his first song performance the night (musical guests usually get two shots on the SNL stage…although there has been rare occasion when they go more or did not precisely follow the one song earlier in the show/another later schedule; can you name the performers who have broken this SNL protocol?)

What happened with Lil Nas was, during his sexy all-male revue of shirtless dancers around him, dancing while he sang his already controversial “Montero (Call Me By Your Name),” the rapper backed up to the stripper pole on a platform behind him. Just about as Lil Nas X began his gyrations against the pole, the front of his leather pants ripper.

Catching the sure breeze and smiling through the mishap, the Georgia-raised singer finished the song, leaning against the pole, one hand in his crotch, one holding the mike he was singing into.

Damn, we almost got to see cock!

As a hetero guy, I am not really all that interested in seeing any man’s bate-and-tackle. I don’t shield my eyes or run away in horror (hard to do when you write erotic and porn like Chris and I do or visit kink dungeons on occasion), but it’s not something I am looking for regularly. Really. need I a fix of cock and balls I just have to look down. But I like the idea that we were almost flashed male genitalia on network TV. Just look at the outrage that ensued from the reveal of Janet Jackson’s nipple way back when during Superbowl halftime? Imagine what would have happened had Lil Nas X’s ‘lil nas got its very own screen time?!

At the very least, it might have finally made SNL worth watching…

Let’s hope our Licking Non-Vanilla show is worth listening to. You can hear us here, here and here.

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